ABOUT LOVE AT THE OFFICE
Why do work relationships start?
Itīs almost inevitable that people at work are attracted to each other
- they see each other every day, they work together on projects that they get
a sense of accomplishment out of. They spend far more time with each other than
real spouses or partners do. Often this can be "rewarding time" -
eating a lunch together or finishing a proposal - instead of chore time and
family time.
Realize these things before you consider a work relationship - that the whole
environment in which you operate is much different than a normal relationship,
and might make a person "seem" to be a better match than he or she
actually is.
Date with someone at the Office
Should you date someone at the office? The long and short answer is--no. If
you are both unrelentingly drawn to each other however, then you may have to
consider another job in order to date because an office romance can have certain
consequences for your career that you had not planned on.
We often do not think these things through when we meet someone we are attracted
to. But an office romance can be a challenge. If you proceed to mix your love
life with your work life, you can put yourself under significant stress.
Here are some choices to consider if you have a relationship so compelling,
you cannot stay away from each other:
Consider all of the consequences of dating this person before you date
them.
- If this person is so irresistible you cannot stay away from him or her,
are you ready to give up your job for them if that is what is required?
- If you date and then break up, how comfortable are you going to feel in
the same workplace?
- Are you or the person you want to date emotionally volatile? What would
happen if you had a fight at work?
- Is this person discreet and trustworthy? If you tell them your secrets,
will they tell other people at work?
- What are the policies where you work about dating someone you work with?
Read those carefully before you proceed.
Keep your dating life under the radar.
- Before you decide that you want to "go public" with your relationship,
keep your dates quiet and to yourselves. You will know within a reasonable
amount of time if this romance has a chance of growing into something lasting.
Consider removing yourself from the same work place as the person you
are dating.
- Look into getting promoted, transferred, or finding another job, depending
on what your company policies are. Get a mentor or a coach to help you strategize
what your choices are and to help you implement a plan.
Are you ready for an office romance? It's complicated, it's challenging, and
it's risky. If you have your life relatively in order; if you are known to make
good decisions; and if you cannot deny that "something" is there between
you, proceed with caution. If it's love, it's worth it. (by www.tonjaweimer.com)
Donīt date within your own department
While dating within the same company is iffy at best, dating within the same
department is almost never a good idea. Departments need to work together in
an unbiased manner, setting priorities and making decisions. If two people within
a department date, then every decision they make - which task to work on first,
how much time to spend working on X - will be second-guessed by the rest of
the department, and indeed the company.
Everyone is cautious of their feelings when entering a relationship, you can't
be cautious enough when entering a relationship with a work colleague. Try to
find out as much as you can about them from their close friends in work first
and then make your decision on whether to get involved, believe me it will not
only save you pain but also the cruelty of having to see them everyday if it
doesn't work out.
Why do work relationships start?
Itīs almost inevitable that people at work are attracted to each other
- they see each other every day, they work together on projects that they get
a sense of accomplishment out of. They spend far more time with each other than
real spouses or partners do. Often this can be "rewarding time" -
eating a lunch together or finishing a proposal - instead of chore time and
family time.
Realize these things before you consider a work relationship - that the whole
environment in which you operate is much different than a normal relationship,
and might make a person "seem" to be a better match than he or she
actually is.
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