TEN TIPS OF CELLULAR TELEPHONE ETIQUETTE
There comes a time in any technological revolution when some basic guidelines
need to be laid down. It happened when e-mail exploded on the scene and people
started to learn some basic dos and don'ts around the new medium. For example,
if you copy the boss in on an e-mail message to a colleague, it means that you
are through kidding around. No one teaches these things in company training;
they are just things that get learned.
Well I've reached the point with cell phones where I feel the need to lay down
the law. There are some real abuses of wireless technology being perpetrated
all around us, and the time has come to create some social order out of the
cell phone chaos. This is by no means an exhaustive list simply because as the
technology evolves, new annoying traits will surely emerge. But commandments
usually come in tens, so think of this as the first Ten Commandments of cell
phone etiquette, with amendments to follow:
- Thou shalt not subject defenseless others to cell phone conversations.
When people cannot escape the banality of your conversation, such as on the
bus, in a cab, on a grounded airplane, or at the dinner table, you should
spare them. People around you should have the option of not listening. If
they don't, you shouldn't be babbling.
- Thou shalt not set thy ringer to play La Cucaracha every time thy phone
rings. Or Beethoven's Fifth, or the Bee Gees, or any other annoying melody.
Is it not enough that phones go off every other second? Now we have to listen
to synthesized nonsense?
- Thou shalt turn thy cell phone off during public performances. I'm
not even sure this one needs to be said, but given the repeated violations
of this heretofore unwritten law, I felt compelled to include it.
- Thou shalt not wear more than two wireless devices on thy belt. This
hasn't become a big problem yet. But with plenty of techno-jockeys sporting
pagers and phones, Batman-esque utility belts are sure to follow. Let's nip
this one in the bud.
- Thou shalt not dial while driving. In all seriousness, this madness
has to stop. There are enough people in the world who have problems mastering
vehicles and phones individually. Put them together and we have a serious
health hazard on our hands.
- Thou shalt not wear thy earpiece when thou art not on thy phone.
This is not unlike being on the phone and carrying on another conversation
with someone who is physically in your presence. No one knows if you are here
or there. Very disturbing.
- Thou shalt not speak louder on thy cell phone than thou would on any
other phone. These things have incredibly sensitive microphones, and
it's gotten to the point where I can tell if someone is calling me from a
cell because of the way they are talking, not how it sounds. If your signal
cuts out, speaking louder won't help, unless the person is actually within
earshot.
- Thou shalt not grow too attached to thy cell phone. For obvious
reasons, a dependency on constant communication is not healthy. At work, go
nuts. At home, give it a rest.
- Thou shalt not attempt to impress with thy cell phone. Not only
is using a cell phone no longer impressive in any way (unless it's one of
those really cool new phones with the space age design), when it is used for
that reason, said user can be immediately identified as a neophyte and a poseur.
- Thou shalt not slam thy cell phone down on a restaurant table just in
case it rings. This is not the Old West, and you are not a gunslinger
sitting down to a game of poker in the saloon. Could you please be a little
less conspicuous? If it rings, you'll hear it just as well if it's in your
coat pocket or clipped on your belt.
Well, I'm all thou-ed and thy-ed out, so there you have it: the first 10 rules
of using your cell phone. Most of these seem like common sense to me, but they
all get broken every day. (by Dan Briody is an InfoWorld editor at large
based in New York)
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